26th of May

26.05.2022

10.10

okay, so I didn't get much sleep, obviously. packed last bits and hoped I have everything while leaving the house.

visited my fav bakery in toon and headed to my fav cafe for much needed coffee and passionate fruit cake. I was really nervous, like I didn't even enjoy my breakfast properly. finishing cigarette and going to train station. platform 2, gotcha. I even asked: "how I find my spot in the train?" and (now I remember ok) but she told me, well, it's not this train but the other one. I guess in my head I just panicked and went to this train, because I didn't want to miss it lol.

so I found 'coach A', number of my seat didn't match and I knew something is off, especially sitting in this first class lol. I was thinking ok, maybe they will let me sit here, I'll play it cool you know. Well unfortunately I was gently kicked out of this comfortable coupe (kupé?) but still haven't paid anything extra, so that's a good thing. I only got a lecture about being more careful about my ticket.

Anyway.

Heading to Edinburgh so all good for now.

16.35

Fuck me. I hate flying really. I mean it's always my fault to be at the airport too early, but now we all waiting for ages to get on board. I'm passing out a little bit. Tired. Dehydrated. Wishing to be there asap. This is killing me.

19.56

I was about to pass out really. haven't drunk and eaten prperly. had a anxiety attack in the plane, it's just too much. too many people. new environment, nerves etc.

but I kinda managed, starved to death lol. hopefully not long to landing. then I'll be hoping that they will let me into the albergue I booked. but I definitely won't make it till 9PM so I might sleep outside in the end. who knows. all I want is to eat, have a cigarette and drink. then I'll figure the rest out.

23:58

okay. just saw a huge spider. lol. but except that - I couldn't believe they were still open. i was thinking about tons of different scenarios even before I got to the albergue. Isn't it how it works in our everyday life? That we tend to worry even before something really happens. and most of the time that something doesn't even happen. we're just loosing our faith and we're negative. cause we're good at it. well I have been pleasantly surprised (first very kind sign of the camino)

I got in. and I was like, oh my God thank you so much you guys I thought ur closed. They been like 'chill, relax. Do u want wine, beer,...?' And me, almost in tears, yes, beer would be actually amazing. Miguel actually recognised me (tattoos). I have been here 2 times already and he was like, you have now more tattoos! I'm like yeah, it's been a while. Anyway, got my first stamp into my credential, sheet for the bed and then I headed to the shower. Such a blessing! For real. There are so many details you want to absorb, you want to share,...it's unbelievable and also impossible to capture it all. but first thing I remember is the smell of air - how warm it is. and the specific smell of albergues. something I can't describe but It triggers so many memories.

After refreshing shower I went to the bonfire and chatted with a guy from Australia who travelled the world (John) and Carla from Mexico. Finished second beer and I'm ready to pass out. I've already heard people snoring so I hope my earplugs will work magically and I won't hear a thing!

Buenas noches you guys. wish me luck xx